Ice Cream Club

Pork Bun w/ Mayo: Okay, so I know what you’re thinking. And you’re right, you’re absolutely right - there is no reason why I should have done this. It’s a sin against nature, and I’m ready to face the consequences. But let’s talk about the leadup!:

First, there exist in the Asiatic portions of this world sweet buns topped with (or full of) pork floss, which is basically dried out pork given the texture of cotton candy. It’s pretty good when mixed into congee, or on top of a pastry, or whatever! If it works in a bakery, why not an ice cream?

The first step was actually the green onion. Chopped it up, steeped it in some cream. It was actually great tasting - whoever’s first to make a green onion ice cream is going to win a hundred awards.

Then: mayo! They love mayo on everything in japan, and there’s even a restaurant where every item is based on mayonnaise. A little mayo added to the green onion cream wasn’t so bad at all.

Finally, added in the pork floss. Stirred it up a bit, somehow thinking it was going to dissolve. Unfortunately, meat doesn’t like to dissolve, so I ended up steeping it for a while and straining the results out (that’s the pancake-y deal above).

Things were okay right then, really! They weren’t impossibly bad, it had just been a slow downhill roll since it was green-onion-only. Once I added in the milk, though, I lost control quickly. Flavors out of balance, scrambling for a hold, the ship went down.

THE VERDICT: I have tried to taste it twice. I brushed my teeth after both times, and thought about leveraging some blows to my head in the hopes that I would forget the horrible experience that was Pork Bun Ice Cream. It’s now in my freezer, waiting for tomorrow, waiting to terrify everyone in Ice Cream Club. Ick ick ick. There’s probably a right way to do this, but I sure didn’t accomplish it.